Late but still here - that counts doesn't it?

I have an even better reason than last night as to why I'm an entire hour late with tonight's BEDA entry - my boyfriend and I were going on a therapeutic walk after Heroes tonight during which I had fun mini-breakdowns about the scary prospects for next year and all that they entail.

Squee.

I had a pro/con list for all three (I say three although my first choice is still not actually certain because they won't freaking get back to me) but I was getting a little too excited about the pros and not all that realistic about the cons. Reality check ensued, and it was less than fun...although definately necessary. *sigh* I hadn't really considered the financial situation, or how much work it will be to make ends meet if I decide in favor of the school that is giving me not much in the way of monetary assistance.

We also discussed how each of my options would be potentially good for me - in different ways. The school that I was getting super excited about is close enough to home to not be ridiculously scary in that respect - and I wouldn't have to live by myself. (Living alone is actually a really scary prospect - I'm not entirely sure that I would take care of myself all that well.) It would be the comfortable option and wouldn't really make me expand my horizons or make new friends or deal with living in a completely foreign place. On the other hand, the school farther away wouldn't make me deal with scrambling to make ends meet, a really long commute, or going to classes at night in a (scary) big city.

This may all be a moot point if the latter school doesn't get back to me, and soon! *grumbles* Seriously - this is getting ridiculous.

On a slightly different note, let's discuss my neuroses for a moment. Allow me to tell you about the dream I had last night - I think that it will explain a great deal about me. For one, the fact that I dreamed and remembered it is interesting all by itself - I don't usually recall what I dream (unless it is a nightmare...and I have had a number of those over the years, some interestingly recurring). So in this dream, I dreamed that I had overslept (I knew what day it was and what I had to do this morning) and had completely bailed on the participants I was supposed to run today, making everyone disappointed in me. Not only did I dream that I overslept, I dreamed that I dreamed that I overslept and then woke up (still in the primary dream) to find out that I actually had overslept and that everything had turned out as I dreamed it. Needless to say, I woke up this morning (before my alarm) quite alarmed, frantically checking what time it was.

Dreaming about dreaming - I wonder what Freud would have to say about that.